TSo that was the challenge part... now for the indulgence. I have been working on how to express my thoughts and feeling to my son all week - and I suppose this is a pretty public forum in which to do it. So if you have other things to do, you can stop reading now. However, you are welcome to stay - I'd be honored to tell you about my son and how very proud of him I am...
He's my first born. He's an artist, a poet, a musician, and a dreamer. He's an old soul.- perceptive, compassionate, and not afraid to be vulnerable. A rare thing in someone so young - a pretty rare thing in our typical macho culture. Recently, my son shared with me that he was longing to do something different with his life. He was looking for a career move - work that would feed his soul as well as his wallet. He loves where he has been living - the city of his birth. A move he made a year ago with a lot of hopes and expectations. Not all of them worked out as he hoped, but I think he's enjoyed his life there. He found time to play, to create, to relate, and to grow up a bit. But it seemed life was calling him to leave the safety of "home" - to leave the familiarity of the coffee shop, his family of choice, and the protection of the mountains. So he applied for a job a few months ago which recently came to fruition. He starts on Tuesday. New month - new opportunities. New challenges, friends... all mixed with a healthy dose of anxiety and anticipation.
He will moving to Florida to work with kids who have blown their chances in the traditional world - kids who have made poor choices; kids who have been abused, forgotten, neglected - some who have never been able to learn how to deal with life. He will be living in a wilderness setting with these kids - 24/7 - for 5 days per week... living in a communal setting when off duty and trying to find a little space in his down time to explore his new surroundings and himself.
There are times when a mom has no words to express the depth and breadth of her feelings for her children. One such time was a year and a half ago as I stood by my daughter's side as she gave birth to her son - my first grandchild. Watching her grown into motherhood has been so amazing. Now, my son is carving his path in this world. I love them both so much. I am so very proud.
The ZIA piece I have created incorporates several blessings by Father John O'Donahue, an Irish Priest who sadly passed away a few years ago. I just discovered his writings this year and I feel so blessed every time I read his words. His book, "To Bless the Space Between Us" is a wonderful collection of blessings and musings on life - all aspects of life. Check it out sometime... I can't recommend it highly enough. Anyway -
I used the November 2011 calendar page created by Carole Ohl for my background/canvas. The spiral blessing represents the paths we walk in life - leading us, if we pay attention, into the core of our soul. The tangles were chosen randomly, attempting balance between curvy and straight, soft and hard edges - I think, life.
If you've read this far, I thank you for sharing this moment with me. I am going to miss my son so much but, as I keep reminding myself, he's not going into the depths of the Congo. He's going to Florida! And he will have access to the internet on his days off. I've grown accustomed to his being only 2 hours away. Yet - I am so proud of him. I am so honored to know him. I am working on being open and allowing all of the good the universe has for him!
I leave you with this blessing from Fra. O'Donahue:
For the Artist at the Start of the Day:
May morning be astir with the harvest of night;
Your mind quickening to the eros of a new question,
Your eyes seduced by some unintended glimpse
That cut right through the surface to a source.
May this be a morning of innocent beginning,
When the gift within you slips clear
Of the sticky web of the personal
With its hurt and its hauntings,
And fixed fortress corners.
A morning when you become a pure vessel
for what wants to ascend from silence,
May your imagination know
The grace of perfect danger,
To reach beyond imitation,
And the wheel of repetition,
Deep into the call of all
The unfinished and unsolved
Until the veil of the unknown yields
And something original begins
To stir toward your senses
And grow stronger in your heart
In order to come to the birth
In a clean line of form,
That claims from time
A rhythm not yet heard,
That call space to
A different shape.
May it be its own force field
And dwell uniquely
Between the heart and the light
To surprise the hungry eye
By how deftly it fits
About its secret loss.
From To Bless the Space Between Us, (c) 2008
Happy Tangling!
2 comments:
How Beautiful, Dear! Holding you as you let him go.
Thanks for sharing your heartfelt feelings about your son (and daughter). I think it's hard sometimes to tell them how we really feel and have them really hear it - but sometimes it's just the sharing that helps. I'm sure your blessing piece will remind him of home with warm memories - til you can visit him in FL of course! :)
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