Dish it up...

This has been a weekend for projects.  I worked on my dissertation topic some more and am in another waiting phase for feedback from my mentor.  So what do I do while I'm waiting?  I tangle, of course!

I am not sure how I ended up with so many projects at one time, though.  Well... yes I do, too.  I started one several weeks (months?) ago and found a spurt of inspiration last week with some new tangles to try.  And then, a friend approached me today about donating a couple of "art" plates to a local silent auction/fund raiser for our local AIDs awareness and treatment non-profit organization. (By the way, it's called Upper-Savannah-Care-Services-Dishing-It-Out-In-Greenwood if anyone wants to take a look).  He said, "Your Zentangle (R) stuff would be really cool.  So - after running around to a few stores for white plates and a paint pen, I sat down this afternoon and whipped up a couple of plates.

First of all, tangling with a paint pen can be frustrating.  I could not find an ultra fine pen so I had to settle for fine.  Also, the tip dries pretty quickly so you have to keep shaking and priming it. However, the quick dry part is good for larger pieces so you don't run your hands through it.

One of the plates I chose was a Corelle pattern that already had a "string" on it!  I didn't add any additional strings to this one... I just tangled where I felt like it - letting on pattern melt into another.  Another issue with paint on a surface like corelle or china is that shading is not really an option.  So the depth I might get  by shading didn't happen.  Here's a shot of my progress about 1/2 way through...

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And here's the finished product:

That one was so much fun that I decided to do another.  This was a square salad size plate with an inch border:  I used a Tombow gray marker to create my string then tangled it like the first one:

This one is oriented correctly

This one flipped clockwise when I uploaded it!

And here are both plates ready for the auction!  Well - almost.  I have to spray them with a poly coat first...

Another project that is nearly completed is my "envisioning" piece.  I took the 3" tiles and traced them randomly on a large 16x20 cotton fiber paper.  I drew a string behind all of the tiles and tangled the spaces as I felt led.  Some tangles were chosen because of their "elemental" meaning - droplets and waves for water, florz, and knightsbridge for their foundation/earth feel - others were chosen because they represent something important to me - the scrolls represent my degree completion, jetties always look like bouncy-balls so they represent my grandson, etc. And Abbe Road (among others) reminds me of my anam cara, MaggieKat.  All of these things are important in my life and in my vision of my future life of abundant joy and well-being.  Now I need to search for the right words or images to add in the tile spaces.  I hope someone else will take a chance on some Z.I.A. (zentangle inspired art) and envision their own perfect self.

Initial draft from my sketchbook

Just need to add my visions now!

OK... one more.  I wanted to try the new tangle Tuftid on Linda Farmer's Tangle Patterns site. I tend to tangle at times when I have to be quiet or still - neither of which are easy for me.  So - I typically start a tangle during church (I know people wonder what on earth I'm doing, but I think I'm less distracting when I tangle than when I fidget!).  Here's Tuftid and friends:

Happy Tangling!

Challenge #36 Assunta

This week's challenge is definitely challenging!  Assunta is a tangle created to celebrate Zentangle co-creator, Maria's, 60th birthday. (Happy belated birthday, Maria!) To add to my stress (wait - this isn't supposed to be stressful!) - uh - challenge I added MaggieKat's AbbeRoad - well - I tried to.  I am going to work on both of these some more.  I like them but I am a little daunted by them.  To "round" things off I added Fricle - another newer offering by Julie Evans, CZT plus a couple of tried and true favorites.

Happy Tangling!

Challenge-ing week

So I really loved the tile-in-tile challenge for this  week.  I actually created two tiles early on.  I didn't scan or upload either one.  Maybe later.  Or not.  I don't care.

The real challenge for this week has been acknowledging that I am getting old.  My body just cannot do as much as it used to.  I can't chase  a 16-month old little boy, worry and care for his mom's post-operative needs, eat sporadically ( if at all), while dwelling on whether or not someone will decide that my job is superfluous before I get back without my body and my psyche screaming at me.  Despite my most enlightened efforts I still care way too much about things I cannot control.  I care about not being important enough to those who are most important to me.  I care way too much about my often-rigid rules of "do unto others."   The thing is - no one has done anything wrong, overt, or even remotely out of character for me to feel this way right now.  It is all a manufactured construct of my own doing.  But that is what happens when that insecure part of me forgets to breathe and forgive myself for whatever keeps me insecure.

Sometimes I have to just let go of expectations that my (rigid?) expectations will actually turn out the way I planned. Sometimes I have to accept that I absolutely cannot be everywhere for everyone and that the consequences to my choices means that I may miss out on some memory-making moments.  When I give in to that sort of thinking, I taint what could have been a sweet, companionable time of just "being with" those I love. What I tend to end up with is a plateful of resentment, longing, or a sense of loss.

So... here's what I'm going to do.  I'm going to follow Martha Beck's advice.  Right now... today... this very minute I am choosing to love more by caring less.  I will practice daily (hourly?...minute-by-minute?) by letting go of conditions that I place on relationships, of expectations that keep me disappointed and insecure.  I will ask for others' opinions and defer to the choices and wishes of others when necessary - negotiation and compromise are a part of healthy relationships that have nothing to do with conditional or unconditional love. I will no longer make my relationships contingent upon my "if only" conditions.  So if you hear me say "I don't care," what I mean is that I simply and unconditionally just love you.  (That goes for my little insecure self, too.)

None of us can predict which choice will bring us the most satisfaction or pleasure or gain.  I accept and allow that I will continue to make choices that are as well thought out as I can manage and that I will continue to blow it more times than I can probably count. That goes for everyone and everything else in my life, too.  I will not hold others to a different standard than I hold me.  I accept and allow that what is just simply "is" and move on.  I will love more by caring less about others' choices, what others' think about me, what has happened in the past or may come in the future.

So love me or not... accept me or not... agree with me... or not.  I lovingly, honestly, and simply do not care.

"Every experience in my life has shaped me to be where I am at this very moment.  I am exactly who I am supposed to be."  Dr. Darren R. Weissman

Namaste